Can You Hear Me?

I look around me as I grow
I’d like to tell you all I know.

With a sigh, I woke up. A lazy light lulled through the roof gently against my fur. The queens were in the nursery, their chests softly rising and falling as they slept. “I wonder what they’re dreaming?”

I blinked my sleepy blue eyes and looked through the cracks in the roof of the den. A crisp blue sky sent placid rays filtering through the bracken. As the soft warmth touched my face, I turned to my mother. “I wish that I could tell you how beautiful this morning is….”

I see life
With all its energy
The busy camp
The rush of time

Skipping enthusiastically, I leapt into the camp. The colors of red leaves highlighted the sky’s brilliant blue. Yet even with the background so sharp against my eyes, all of the cats in the camp seemed to be made of fog. All their movements seemed to melt together in life’s blur.

Some of the apprentices were playing together, pretending to be mighty warriors. They, too, seemed to have soft colors compared to the scenery.

When they began to move their mouths, the others reacted. One of the apprentices, who seemed to be able to comprehend these movements, jokingly cuffed his friend on the ear.

“I wonder how they can understand?”

This is my world
It’s where I like to be
So much to see
So much to find

Despite the strange patterns around me, the mild breeze and comforting heat nudged me back to this physical world. “I love the world…” I breathed, taking in the scents of dead leaves and fresh air.

The forest was charred; by the smell of ash, I somehow knew that this world was once scorched by a flaming breath. But even out in a land made entirely of soot and sticks, the whole place looked ready to explore.

I sometimes sit and wait a while
I see the sun
It makes me smile

I sat down, ponderously glancing at the sky. The day was cloudless, like a young cat with no scars of battle yet to stain his pelt. A bright yellow sun glowed hotter than the flames that once tormented the forest, but somehow the warmth rolled in soothing waves over my face.

A small smile stretched on my lip. The sun brought such life… such wonder!

“I wonder why the sun shines?”

Can you see it?
Can you see it too?
(repeat)

I blinked wetness away from my eyes, watching the spot of light left from my viewing of the sun as it danced over my pupil. “Wow!” I mewled in delight. “It’s moving!” In a rush of excitement, I ran around chasing the dot, my eyes wide with curiosity.

In my excited scampering, I hadn’t noticed my mother standing behind me. I ran into her, blinking my blue eyes as the sun spot vanished. “Aww, you missed it!” I grumbled.

Then I looked up at her with a gasp and smiled. “Can you see it?”

I feel life
With all its energy
The joy of waking every day

My mother moved her mouth once more, but once again I failed to comprehend what she was trying to express. I looked up at her with sad eyes. “Why can’t I understand you?”

The momentary wondering didn’t last long. A feeling of the heat on my shoulders made me rise from my spot and run around just for the heck of it, breathing in the autumn air and leaping to the sky. “Isn’t life wonderful?”

This is my world
It’s where I like to be
So much to do
So much to say

I tripped over a stray stone which had drifted somehow into the clearing. With a sudden impact I landed face-first on the ground, wondering what just happened. My mother ran towards me, her flecked tail fluffed out. This was something I never understood. “Why’s your tail so fluffy all of a sudden, Mom?”

Mother didn’t respond. At least, not in a way I could follow. Her mouth did nothing for me, but the worry in her eyes betrayed what she was trying to say. “I wish I could tell you I’m all right.”

I sometimes sit and feel the sun
Its warmth is there for everyone

When my mother decidedly slinked back to the other queens, I turned my head back to the sun. “You know…” I mused, “If it weren’t for him, nothing would be. I’m glad the sun isn’t selfish. If it weren’t for his generosity, none of this beautiful life would exist around me.

“Gosh… I wish I could thank him.”

Can you feel it?
Can you feel it too?
(repeat)

I closed my eyes.

Warmth. It’s such a comforting feeling.

Sometimes I wondered why StarClan gave me warmth. I always thought that it was purely for those who needed some love and care. Mothers were warm to comfort their kits at night. The sun was warm to bring ease to all the life out there that craved the light. Heck, even emotions were warm towards other cats who were seeking solace from friends and family.

“Can you feel it too, Mom?”

My world’s a silent one
But it’s enough for me

Ears.

I wonder why ears are here?

They’re here to hear. The world seemed to be missing something which has always been there for them, but never here for me. Sound escaped me, though I never could tell why.

Noiseless or not, the world was mine to explore. I had so much opportunity to seek out secrets and uncover hidden things. Little creatures wouldn’t have stood a chance beneath my claws!

But sometimes I forgot why I couldn’t comprehend them… those cats and their mouth-movement. It made me wonder what else I’ve missed… what else I might have done….

“What am I missing, Mother?”

I hear you through your paws
The movement sets me free

My mother would then approach me and wrap me in her affection, breathing gently into my ear. Her muzzle would move just like those of other cats, but the contact of her dusty paws on my flank made me feel as if my spirit were lifted to the sky… that I could tell her what it meant to be me.

“You are my solace, Mother.”

But it would be a special thing
To hear your voice
To hear you sing

But then… it happened.

I never could have expected it. It was one day that I was playing, not a profound thought clouding my mind, when I was taken by the claws of this enormous monster! Its talons were sharper than anything I had ever felt or ever hoped to feel.

Rising into the air, far off the ground, I stared with wide eyes to the clearing below. My mouth opened, trying to cry for help, but I knew in the back of my mind that they wouldn’t hear it. As I was lifted higher and higher, I saw my mother on the ground, opening her mouth wide in distress.

“Mom! Say something! Tell me you can hear me!”

Can you hear me?
Can you hear me too?
(repeat)

“Can you hear me, Mom?”

I always asked myself that. As the sun set on that faithful day, my mind was almost at ease. It was at the moment the world grew black that I realized it for myself.

I wasn’t meant to be. She couldn’t hear me.

And I couldn’t hear her, either.

I look around me as I grow
I’d like to tell you all I know

Mother…

My roof is now the sky, and the stars are my fresh breeze… the fallen leaves my blanket, the clouds my ghostly seas…

In this world of the night, with only the moon to light my way, I wish I could have somehow changed my mortal life.

It’s very quiet up here, but not the same silence I felt below. There is no sunshine here. No warmth. Little light. I hide in the shadows, away from the other spirits, mourning over a life lost before I was even born. It lurks in my memory, like a menacing shadow.

“I love you, mother.”

Can you hear me?

A ghost approaches me on this night. She looks like nothing but an outline, her pelt smelling of stars. I marvel at her beauty. Though older than me, there is a shimmer of regret in her eyes that seems to outshine even the moon, glowing so brightly just above my head.

I continue to gaze at her, with only one question in my mind. I remain quiet for a moment…

Until…

Finally…

I ask…

“Can you hear me?”

She answers…

“Yes.”